The grieving process is what heals our wounds. We need to cry, we need to vent, we need to talk about the memories, we need to talk about the difficulties we are having. This is all part of the healthy process. The book discusses if a wound is quickly covered without proper care (such as no cleaning or antibiotics) then it can get infected. This is similar to someone who does not let themselves properly grieve, but rather tries to quickly put on a front and ignore the situation. Those who do not let their emotions out will eventually feel infected and breakdown.
We can use support of family, friends, neighbors, self-help resources, books, religious gatherings to help you through all the different stages of your personal healing process. And hopefully you can eventually say, "my wound is slowly healing, but the scar will always exist. And I am okay with that."
What are some of our antibiotics we can use to help us heal from the loss? The book suggests four tasks to aid in the grief process:
| | 1 | Facing the reality of the loss (Letting go) |
| | 2 | Experiencing the pain of grief (Crying and talking about it) |
| | 3 | Adjusting to the altered environment (Acceptance) |
| | 4 | Reinvesting emotion energy elsewhere (Reaching out) |
It also suggests doing certain exercises to help the wound. Recognize, and write down, your feelings. Find ways to relax. Exercises to forgive yourself. Exercises to relieve guilt.
A New York Daily News Article wrote about the grieving process in November of 2009. The article suggested ways to overcome the grief and help heal the wound:
• Forgive yourself for all the things you said or didn’t say or do. Compassion and forgiveness are important in the healing process.
• Gain comfort by being with others who’ve experienced similar loss.
• Create a memorial or tribute; you can plant a tree or start a garden in your yard.
• Allow yourself to go through the grief process. Sadness, disbelief, loneliness and anger are all a natural part of the grieving process.
• Seek professional help for as long as you need it.
Another useful idea for healing is to think about ways to stay "connected" to helpful resources. The Examiner wrote an article, "Steps to Overcoming Grief" which illustrated the grand idea of staying connected:
| STAYING CONNECTED |
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All of these ideas and tools can help us properly care for our wounds, and help heal in a healthy way. We can avoid improper infecting ourselves with improper grieving. Let yourself grieve and be proud of the scar that may remain as a reminder of the loved one.
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